“It feels like home” used to mean it feels like abandonment.

[Rewrite your definition of “home”.]

When I realized I was recreating relationships in my life to emulate what I was most searching for, this idea of home, belonging and a place in my life and body, I realized I was, in fact, creating what home meant to me. 

I was creating abandonment… of self (by me) and by others 

One day I’ll tell the tale of how I met and fell in love with someone and was left, FREED, by him in Paris to never see him again. 

If you’re reading this F, know that you rocked my world and your actions were the catalyst for one of my greatest transformations. I thank you for helping me to see who I truly am through the atrocious, neglectful and at times deeply loving experiences I had with you.

 I’ll never speak to you again in this life for what you did and how you treated me was beyond unacceptable. 

And yet, Lalita who thrives today is the result of those encounters. 

When I realized I was recreating abandonment, I also realized that this pattern was one of my biggest blocks to living my external purpose. It got in the way of emotional and financial stability, it created chaos and upheaval. 

Remember, we have two purposes and through my consistent recreation of this life, I was not fully living either. 

I have 0 regrets. And I have 1 million lessons. 

The gift, today, is to apply them and pay them forward so that maybe you can learn from my lessons. 

What does home mean to you? And what did it truly mean to you, emotionally, as a child?

As a sensitive #HSP and #Creative, as you seek safety to bring your gifts to the world, you may unknowingly recreate “home”. And for some of us, that could actually mean chaos. 

What do you think?