The subtle cues of power and influence
Being powerful or worth paying attention to doesn't mean that you show up in a room screaming; that just means your loud. How we interact with others gives people a rapid impression of not only who we are in the world, what we do but if it's of any relevance to them.
And underneath that story is the question of if they can trust you (and ultimately buy whatever you're selling).
Are you stable?
Do you follow through on your word?
Are you reliable?
At the heart of any interaction is trust and it's of the utmost importance to convey that at every stage of the game. We talk about that in greater depth here with some free resources on how to be irresistible in sales.
Luckily, there are easy actions you can take to send the signal to potential clients and partners that you're worth listening to.
Here are a few:
- Are you dressed well or do you look like you just rolled out of bed? This doesn't mean you spend $10,000 on a suit, but it does mean you look like you took the time to get dressed. And, I'd argue that you should invest in a great suit or outfit. Invest in yourself. It's worth it.
- Do you look intentional, meaning do the details of your wardrobe, presentation and conversation feel fluid, interesting and balanced?
- Are your hair and beard combed and groomed? Or do you look like a wooly mammoth?
- Do you have holes in your clothes?
- Do you speak really fast, ultra slow or at a steady pace?
- How loud are you? (this can totally be a cultural thing too-- I practically yell wherever I am)
- Do you look people in the eyes and are you comfortable holding that eye contact?
- Can you shake someone's hand and look them in the eye without twitching, sweating or nervously laughing?
- Do you look sick? Many people run themselves into the ground and it shows in their posture, their skin and eyes. They actually look sick and are perceived as less stable. Taking care of your health is so key.
- Do you stand up straight. This one is so incredibly important. When you chat with someone are you leaning towards them, sitting straight or leaning back in the chair? Are your arms crossed and is your head titled more towards the front (like you're gazing downwards) or tilted upwards? How you stand tells people a world's worth of information about you.
- When you disagree with people, can you look them in the eyes while doing so? And what's your tone like? If you can't look me in the eyes while you disagree, I assume I have more influence in the conversation. I also wonder why you won't look at me, because if you valued your opinion, you'd look me in the eyes.
And lots. more.
Most of these speak to if you value your time, your appearance and your value.
People who value themselves take care of their health, are intentional in their actions and move slower to go faster.
I'm curious to know, where do you fit in this spectrum?
What's one thing you could do differently to come across as more confident? Be sure to share in the comments below.