Enough is Enough!
When is enough enough? Yesterday I was at the gym, taking my free session with a trainer and I did 89 man pushups and 45+ squats at 115lbs. Yes. I'm a 5’2 beast and yes I posted it on Facebook for bragging rights! To say the least, I was to the point of throwing up. I would've finished to the 100 pushup goal and most likely would have thrown up or passed out, but I would've finished. What can I say? I’m stubborn and proud. The trainer stopped me though, "Next time," he said. "Next time you'll finish it out. Today you're too spent. You’ll end up hurting yourself."
But what happens when it's more serious?
How far do we or are we going to push ourselves in life, down paths we hate, with people who are poisonous company, for reasons we have long since forgotten, but feel some commitment to, just to say we didn’t “quit”?
When is our limit reached?
A few years ago, a very dear friend of mine tried to take her life. From the outside, you would have never known she was suffering so much. She was the life of the party, always got along with everyone, overall a great girl. Then one day I get the call that she was in the hospital. She tried to kill herself.
Seeing her in the hospital, ashamed, upset, having hit her own rock bottom, I wondered what it took to get there.
This past year, 2 coworkers took their lives within a month time span. They were 24 years old.
Seeing people resort to, what to me, is the absolute and most extreme sign of total mental anguish. Seeing it occur upsets me in a very deep place. I’ve been at very dark points in my life, thankfully never to the point of wanting to die, but knowing where I was and knowing where they must be to want something so extreme, really upsets me.
It tells me we as people are disconnected.
It tells me we have lost sight of what's important.
It tells me we don't know ourselves.
So we sit here and casually throw the term around, "Lifestyle design" and people judge it, maybe as being trendy or only for "some people" when in fact it is undoubtedly for everyone. Everyone has the absolute obligation to himself or herself to live a positive and happy life. It starts with the little things.
My question then to you is,
"How long are you going to continue to believe that life is painful and continue to act in accordance with that insane line of thinking?"
For how long are you going to accept a life that you don't like? Let’s resort to an analogy for kicks. I go to a store that has 100 shirts and this guy hands me one and says, "Here, try this, everyone is wearing it." I put the shirt on. It’s too small, it stinks, it has holes and it makes me itch. In fact, the shirt does not a damn thing for me. But, it was the first thing given to me and it’s what everyone else is wearing, so it must be a good shirt, right? So I begin to wonder why everyone in the store is wearing this shirt. I begin to think there must be some sort of logic to this. Then I begin to think there’s something wrong with me for not loving this shirt with holes. But the voice in my head says that there all these other shirts that are better quality, better looking, so why wouldn't I look at the 99 other shirts within the store?
I don’t know.
I bet there are 100 reasons, all of which are junk, definitely not at par with your life's value.
Here's my rendition: people settle out of fear of everything and anything. People buy stuff they don't like all the time and say "it will do". Maybe that's the mentality that's slowing eating away at us.... "It will do". I wouldn't wear a shirt with holes in it simply because it was the first shirt someone gave me. I'd recognize the holes, cordially say no thank you and ask to find something more suitable to my needs and tastes. You would not buy a fur coat to go to Havana, Cuba would you? NO! It doesn't meet your needs or plans. You need a bathing suit, not a fur coat. Why do we not take that same basic approach to life? You need a life plan that allows you to eat healthy, be in shape, fine tune your passions and feel fulfilled.
Simple principles. Huge implications.
So, when is the reason big enough, pressing enough, important enough to begin to take control of your life and make yourself happy? What bigger reason than your very own life?
Don’t give me the excuse, “I have to this,” or “I have to that.”
You have to what?
What force on earth is so great that it tells you it’s worth your life?
Let me answer that for you.
This is what I hear underneath the “I have to,”
“I have to pay the bills to sustain this miserable life. I hate myself, but I think it makes sense to continue with what I’m doing, because more bad might equal better? Either way, my car payment, boat payment, and wife’s boob job requires this misery. It’s just the way it is.”
No it isn’t! Take that idea out of your head, take a good whiff of it and realize it’s pure shit. Now, throw it out.
You control your destiny
It started out small didn’t it? Maybe it began with the job you don't like, which led you to working and associating with people consumed with the corporate ladder, making you feel like you should be to. Then you began to eat fast food, because you didn’t have time to eat anything else, I mean heck, between the long hours and the girlfriend. But hey, being 20 pounds overweight at 25 is normal now. She likes the tummy anyways. On weekends you began sleeping more and drinking a lot more just to balance out the 9-5 misery. But this is also standard, because you are just so tired and have no energy, gaining weight and eating more because you feel so horrible about yourself, less sex with the wife/girlfriend and feeling less of a man and ugly, working more hours to pay for the new car and the kids’ dance lessons, telling the guys you can't go out that night because you have date night with the wife, but secretly dread it because you no longer have anything to talk about. Then today, as you read this blog, you look back. You remember when you took the job at 24. You remember thinking, “This is just the way it is.”
Know now and forever forward that you have control over the decisions you make in life. Fight tooth, hair and nail to exercise the right to decide over what matters to you. That list I just gave is a common scenario for many people and it seems irreversible. Even as I wrote it, I felt overwhelmed and depressed, but all you have to do is turn around figuratively speaking. Look up, to the left, right, anywhere that is not in relation to the train of thought I just presented to you and begin mentally walking. Don’t look back. Go.
You can take control of your life.
You can enter into happiness.
You can improve your sex life.
You can begin to see yourself as beautiful again.
You are beautiful.
My trainer knew when to tell me to stop.
No one was there to tell my friend enough is enough.
Today, I’m that friend for you.
Stop putting yourself through misery.
Stop thinking that "this is all there is".
I give you permission to make great decisions in your life.
A few things:
If you feel like your life is shit or are contemplating sleeping forever or have considered taking your own life, you're not alone. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Please reach out to someone. Your head tells you this is the only option. Your head is wrong. Reach out: we are here for you.
Now is the best and only time to take initiative.
You can do it.
I believe in you.
To your health,